Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Celebrity chef Stanley Chipotle comes to Trenton to participate in a barbecue cook-off and loses his head --literally. Bail bonds office worker Lula is witness to the crime, and the only one she’ll talk to is Trenton cop, Joe Morelli. Chipotle’s sponsor is offering a million dollar reward to anyone who can provide information leading to the capture of the killers. Lula recruits bounty hunter Stephanie Plum to help her find the killers and collect the moolah. Stephanie Plum’s Grandma Mazur. Enough said. Stephanie Plum is working overtime tracking felons for the bonds office at night and snooping for security expert Carlos Manoso, A.K.A. Ranger, during the day. Can Stephanie hunt down two killers, a traitor, five skips, keep her grandmother out of the sauce, solve Ranger’s problems and not jump his bones? Habanero hot. So good you’ll want seconds.
Alright...can the sexually frustrated readers PLEASE show me your hands...come on...I know you're out there. OMG SERIOUSLY I'm not a perv...ok not THAT BIG of one at least but Stephanie needs to get some. I know these novels aren't totally based on romance BUT give the girl some slack even our fellow bounty hunter needs a little heat sometimes.
First off I gotta say that if you know me pretty well you know that I'm a pretty loyal/faithful gal. I can't help it I have a soft heart and when I start something and attach to it I can't just let go. Thats how I look at the Stephanie Plum novels. When I first started reading a friend of mine got me hooked on Stephanie's hijinx! I loved her! She always makes you LOL! I don't really expect too much new within the series...I expect a lot of the same type of comedy and humor. But I can say that it has gone down the hill somewhat. I KNOW everyone is like DUH MONROE WE KNOW THIS...but I have to say that even though we are all too familiar with Step, Joe, Ranger, Lula...etc they still make us laugh and personally I will continue to read till the end. :o)
That being said I must get to the nitty gritty and complain a bit.
Ok first off...wth the last book Steph and Joe were fine. Better than fine they were GREAT! And now I guess they had a fight over peanut butter *eye roll and separated. I guess JE wanted to pull back a little on the Steph/Joe relationship to shake things up. I know Steph will never choose and it's done on purpose b/c they dont want to mix in too much romance but still Im starting to get a bit restless here. I think it would be interesting for her to attempt a relationship with Ranger! Hmmm...lol
One thing I like about the book was that Lula got a ton of attention! She witnessed a decapitation and the murderers are after her! lol She gets chased around town by two bozos: one a butcher who laughs like a hyena and carrys a big butcher knife and the other man couldn't hit the blind side of a barn! lol So needless to say...dangerous- yes BUT not all to bright! Lula goes to stay with Stephanie and that in itself is a hoot! She snores up a storm and forces Steph to go stay with Ranger...which brings me to the HELLO GO HAVE SEX WITH HIM part of my review. I love Ranger (yes i love Morelli more) but I really don't think I would be able to keep my hands off of this man. The best thing about him...he totally takes cares of Steph. Hes given her TONS of cars, places to live and jobs out the ying yang! Ugh...COME ON GIRL!
Ok another hang up about this book was NORMALLY theres quite a bit of an ending...Steph is normally trapped somewhere and Ranger or Morelli has to save the day etc. But NO Morelli was like so-n-so caught the killer...wth?!? REALLY thats not too exciting. Ugh...and like I said about the no sex...do you KNOW how many times I was about yelling at the book. She couldve had sex with Ranger or Morelli numerous times but noooooo. Ugh I think by the end of the book I wouldv'e settled for G-ma Mazur sex! LMAO!
Instead of Snib Bit's I thought it might be fun to do a few quotes from our fav Plum characters!"Probably I can find her breast without it, but it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it." --Morelli
"Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing." -- Ranger
...and one of my fav's
Mary Lou- "So let me get this straight. Last night you were with the two sexiest men in the entire world, and you didn't score with either one of them."
Stephanie- "There are other things in this life besides scoring with men."
Mary Lou- "Like what?"
Stephanie- "I could score with myself."
Mary Lou- "You could go blind doing that."
Stephanie- "No! I mean I could feel good about myself. You know, like when you do a job and it turns out excellent. Or when you set a moral standard for yourself and stick to it."
Mary Lou gave me the open-mouth, wrinkled-nose, this-is-a-load-of-bullshit look. "What?"
Stephanie- "Well, okay, so I've never had any of those things happen, but they could."
Mary Lou- "And pigs could fly. But personally I'd rather have an orgasm."
Ok so this book wasn't the best BUT it did make me laugh and the Plum books are always comfort books for me...:o)
Also I just reviewed the latest epi of True Blood over at The Boob Tube go check it out and tell me what you thought!